Dear Tatay,

I just like to greet you a very Happy Father’s Day! I know it sounds awkward to greet you cause you’re not here with us anymore. But as Nanay told me..”You are always in our hearts and souls. A piece of you in our hearts that will never be replaced or never be exchanged.” I really miss you Tatay. But I know I need to be strong for Nanay and for myself.

I know you also celebrate this day with the other fathers all over the world and even in the other world. It’s a day for all of you specially for you Tatay. Hope we can celebrate this day with you. I also want to apologize for not celebrating this day when your still here. We’re not so expressive to do those kind of celebrations, shy to show to you our appreciation but now I realized that this day is very special for you. This is your moment. I am sorry Tatay..for not expressing my love and gratitude for you..but deep of us..we love you so much and appreciate all your efforts and understanding to us. I plead for forgiveness.

I love you so much Tatay.

I know you’re still here to take care and watch over us. I know you learn how our lives turn when you’re gone. Nanay became busier in her small store, selling of products and many more sidelines. I can see in her ways that she really miss you so much. No one to lean on when we got problems. No one to tell stories about our neighbors, television programs and our country’s problem as you always do when watching news program. No one to shout at when she need some help or scold. She miss you so much I know.

Ate became paranoid in her officemates. D*mn her relationship with a lesbian. I don’t want to judge her Tatay cause sometimes I can see to her that she’s happy with her. I don’t have any rights to judge her or say anything against to them. They just love each other but morally it is a sin to fell inlove whose the same gender with you. I get tired every night when Ate gone answering her phone calls. I don’t hate Ate..I just hate what she is doing. I love Ate.

Jomar and I get closer to each other. I am not really aware about Jomar’s life outside our house but I know he is now a young gentleman. He knows what is right or wrong. I am happy cause he already finished his OJT. I hate to see him working late and went home every early morning. I hate it when he decided to left our house because a lesbian took Ate in our home. I realized how Jomar get mad. Then I respect him and became closer to him.

I am at my 4th year Tatay. I can’t believe it. I am praying to attend my graduation hopefully next year and I wish you are with me to celebrate that day. I miss your dishes you cook Tatay. The “Itik” in every fiesta. And who will make manual fresh avocado for me? With Bear Brand and crushed ices. Who will cook spagetti in my birthdays? Mungo beans with sugar. I miss all of those. I miss you Tatay.

I hope you can read this letter wherever you are. I know you will. We miss you so much Tatay. Happy Father’s Day!

Sigh.